Guide for Misfits

Faith changes. Doubts arrive. Things that once felt certain now seem blurry. You feel like an outsider where you used to belong. Maybe you feel lost, disillusioned or just confused?

We know how isolating it can feel navigating the big shifts inside you. But, you don’t have to do it alone.

We’ve created this little guide as a starting place to help you exercise self-compassion, tread your path gently, and maybe even find a renewed sense of spirituality, wonder and joy, where you didn’t expect it.

Our 5 Tips for Misfits

This is Normal

Some of us have internalised the idea that faith is something unchanging and static, to carry through life. Is anything really like that though? This video speaks to the disorientation we can experience when our once sturdy beliefs begin to feel more shaky underfoot.

Listen Widely

Humans have a 'confidence bias' meaning we are often drawn to people who communicate answers with a high degree of confidence. One antidote to this is to listen widely, seek out a variety of perspectives and strive to create a wider view of the world.

Go Slow

When things feel 'up in the air' it can be tempting to want to 'land' somewhere solid - as soon as possible! Maybe though, there's a wisdom to be found in moving at a slow and gentle pace.

Find Connection

When your faith is changing you might find that communities where you previously felt a deep sense of belonging may not feel the same anymore. What might it look like to find connection in new ways?

Be Curious

If we have had painful or traumatic experiences in the past, we might find ourselves experiencing more resentment, bitterness and judgment towards the world. This is understandable; perhaps in the end though, curiosity will serve us better. This short video reflects on nurturing a curious approach to the world.

People

Feeling like a 'spiritual misfit' for whatever reason, is often a lonely and isolating experience. Too many people have experienced rejection, judgment or exclusion in spaces that were supposed to be sacred.

Without people, many of us would have less trauma or pain in our story. At the same time, without people, many of us will struggle to experience healing and restoration. Not all relationships are equal. Our hope though is that you can find the community, friends or professional supports to help you experience healing, wholeness and a deep sense of belonging. Follow the link below for some of our suggested starting places — noting this list is a work in progress.

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Find People

Top 6 Podcast Episodes to Start With

Joel Hollier, Carolyn Meers, Becca De Souza and Simon Nixon join Will for a conversation about navigating the wilderness spaces that come with an evolving faith. Listen directly on this page or click here for links to your podcast player of choice.

Wisdom for the wilderness (live panel)

Gregg Morris, Sally Douglas, Will Nicholas and Carlynne Nunn joined Will Small in Melbourne for a conversation about whether Christianity still has good news to offer our world today, even with all its baggage.

Is Christianity still good news? (live panel)

Leading Christian ethicist, pastor, author and advocate Dr. David Gushee came on the podcast to discuss his book 'After Evangelicalism', a guide for helping people trying to find their way out of the maze of evangelical culture, without necessarily knowing where to go next.

David Gushee on Christian humanism after evangelicalism

Joel Hollier and Staff Fenton came on the podcast to discuss the dynamics of creating trauma-informed faith communities. A particularly powerful conversation for any of us seeking to lead or nurture communities for misfits.

Joel Hollier and Staff Fenton on Creating Trauma Informed Church

In this episode of the podcast Jarrod McKenna takes us into the depths of his personal journey, as well as talking about the power of a nonviolent theology in action.

Jarrod McKenna on liberating love and nonviolent resistance

As part of the first ever 'Future Church Conference' in 2024 Safina Stewart, a proud Wuthathi and Mabuiag Island woman brought us this powerful and challenging talk about decolonising faith and the church.

Safina Stewart on 'The Future Church is...Decolonising'

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We would not be who we are without our eco-friendly design, which is at the core of our strategy. We are constantly working to improve our offerings and expand upon our capabilities when it comes to design and production. Get in touch to learn more.

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Practices

Walk a Labyrinth

Have you ever tried using a labyrinth before? Sometimes found at monasteries, churches or retreat centres, these winding paths can look like a maze, but with an important difference. There are no dead-ends. Particularly for those of us who spend a lot of time in our thoughts, trying to resolve all the mysteries of life, the universe and God, a labyrinth can be a wonderful way to move back into our bodies and experience a physical reminder that even when we feel like we are moving further away from our destination, every inch we move forward is actually progress. The majority of labyrinths are also wheelchair friendly, due to their flat, barrier-free design.

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Pray The Examen

The Examen is an Ignatian prayer that focuses on mindfully replaying the events of the day and learning to see God in all things. There are plenty of apps and resources you can use to guide you in praying the Examen. In a nut-shell though, it's pretty simple. At the end of the day, find a comfortable place to spend a few moments in contemplation. Close your eyes and cast your mind back to the beginning of the day. Try to remember how your day unfolded, and when you notice significant moments (whether joyful, painful or otherwise) pause and consider God's presence in each of these. You might want to finish by asking for grace and guidance for the next day. Remember, there's no wrong way to pray, and you can experiment as you like.
Here's a great website for getting started with the Examen.

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Read the 'First Bible'

“Creation is the primary and most perfect revelation of the Divine.” –Thomas Aquinas

Depending on your upbringing you may have never heard nature referred to as the 'first bible', though throughout the history many theologians, mystics and spiritual pilgrims have pointed to the natural world as a primary source of revelation. Perhaps this is why so many people experience moments of transcendent awe and wonder when diving in the ocean, wandering through forests or feeling the earth under bare feet. Spend time in nature, communing with the earth and its creatures — and you may just find you experience God's presence anew. Read more here.

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Funding Acknowledgment

Resources on this page were developed with the support of Uniting Mission and Education